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ACTUAL DISORDER IN THE COURT - QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS:
These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Some of these are excellent - don't miss the last one.

       Q: What is your date of birth?
       A: July 15th.
       Q: What year?
       A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

       Q:This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
       A: Yes.
       Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
       A: I forget.
       Q:You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

      Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
       A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
       Q: How long has he lived with you?
       A: Forty-five years.

       Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
       A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
       Q: And why did that upset you?
       A: My name is Susan.

       Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
       A: We both do.
       Q: Voodoo?
       A: We do.
       Q: You do?
       A: Yes, voodoo.

Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

       Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
       A: Yes.
       Q: And what were you doing at that time?

       Q: She had three children, right?
       A: Yes.
       Q: How many were boys?
       A: None.
       A: Were there any girls?

         Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
         A: By death.
         Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

         Q: Can you describe the individual?
         A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
         Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

         Q: All your responses must be oral, OK?
         What school did you go to?
         A: Oral.

       Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
         A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
         Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
         A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

        Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
         A: No.
         Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
         A: No.
         Q: Did you check for breathing?
         A: No.
         Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
         A: No.
         Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
         A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
         Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
         A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

December 11, 2003 Finally!
Virginia Hits Spammers With Felony Charges By Roy Mark
Virginia authorities arrested and charged a North Carolina man Thursday morning with four felony counts of using deceptive routing information in sending bulk commercial e-mail. The indictments are the first felonies in the country to be levied against a spammer under Virginia's tough new anti-spam law.

Jeremy Jaynes, 29, was arrested in Raleigh and is awaiting extradition to Virginia. A second person connected with Jaynes, Richard Rutowski of Cary, N.C., is expected to surrender to authorities in the next few days. Both are listed on Spamhaus.org's database of top ten spammers in the world.

Under Virginia's tough new anti-spam law, which wen into effect in April, spammers living outside of the state can be charged even if none of the recipients live in Virginia as long as the e-mail was, at some point, routed through Virginia. More than half of the world's e-mail flows through Virginia, home of America Online (Quote, Chart) and a number of federal agencies.

During a press conference Thursday, Virginia Attorney General Jerry Kilgore said he was able to indict Jaynes because his bulk e-mails traveled through servers in Loudon County, where a number of AOL servers are located. Using the "Report Spam" button, AOL members provided thousands of complaints that were used by Virginia authorities to help investigate and indict Jaynes.

Both Jaynes and Rutkowski, if convicted, face up to five years in prison on each of the four counts. According to the Spamhaus database, Jaynes and Rutowski are a "non-stop group of porn spammers" who use their high-speed T-1 Internet connections for sending "notorious 'horsey porn' spam," which spew around the clock from their multiple computers.

"This was a very profitable business for these two individuals. They lived a very good life," Kilgore said.

The volume of the two's bulk mailings triggered the criminal provisions of the Virginia law. The indictment, which covers a 30-day period last summer, charges that the duo sent more than 10,000 pieces of spam a day and more than 100,000 for the period. In addition to prison time, they face forfeiture of property and statutory damages up to $10 per e-mail or $25,000 per day spam is sent.

"The indictment alleges that the defendant falsified or forged electronic mail transmission information or other routing information in connection with the transmission of the spam," Kilgore said. "This falsification prevents the receiver from knowing who sent the spam or contacting them through the 'from address''of the e-mail. This is what makes this e-mail a crime in Virginia and the volume that was sent during this period elevates the charge to a felony."

Kilgore authored Virginia's anti-spam law earlier this year, which is regarded as the strongest in the nation and was used as the model for the criminal portion of the Can Spam Act passed by Congress earlier this week.

The Virginia law is not directed at all unsolicited bulk commercial e-mail, only the ones with fraudulent claims. According to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), nearly two thirds of spam contains false claims.

The differences in the spam laws in various states, and the difficulty for legitimate e-mail marketers to navigate differing requirements, is one of the reasons even staunch defenders of industry self-regulation, including the Direct Marketing Association, began to advocate for federal legislation to over-ride any state laws, creating an overarching standard for the United States.

Buying a PC Made Easy (From Kim Komando News letter (US Pricing))
Perhaps you're buying someone a computer for Christmas. Or maybe you need one yourself. Either way, the terminology and choices are as confusing as ever. So here's a guide through the thicket.
Let's talk about microprocessors first. Basically, they're all fine. If you're playing cutting-edge games or editing video, buy at the top end. For Intel, that's 3.2 MHz. The comparable AMD chip is the 3200+. If your computing needs are mainstream, go for 2.4 or 2.6 MHz, or the equivalent AMD chips.
Intel's budget Celerons are also fine. In most cases, you won't notice the difference between them and Pentium 4's running at the same speed. Apple's iMacs and eMacs are fine for mainstream computing. Power users should go for the Power Macs.
Notebooks generally use slower chips than desktops. In the Intel world, the Pentium-M (not to be confused with the Pentium III-M) is the chip of choice. You'll also find Celeron and AMD machines. They should be fine for most people. In Appledom, Powerbooks are all good. If you run something that taxes the machine, buy on the upper end. Memory is easy. You need 256 megabytes, minimum, whether you're buying Windows or Apple. If you can afford it, get 512MB. Doing a lot of video
work? Spring for 1GB. Memory is darn important. Don't stint. Hard drives range from wonderfully big to humungous. If you do video work, think really, really big--say, 300 gigabytes. You might even
have two hard drives installed. Otherwise, most machines come with a minimum 40GB hard drive. Most people will never fill them. Spend your extra cash elsewhere.
Many inexpensive Windows machines and notebooks run the video system with the main RAM. That works fine for everyday computing. If you're doing video or photo work, or playing games, get a separate video card. These have RAM on board. The more RAM, the better. All Apple machines
use a video card.
There are two types of monitors: old-style CRTs (for cathode ray tube) and sleek flat panels. CRTs are about 20 inches deep and weigh a bunch, but they're cheap. They're also considered better for gaming.
Flat panels take up much less space. They come in two versions: analog and digital (all CRTs are analog). If you get a digital flat panel, be sure the computer has a digital port. Flat panels generally cost $200 to $400 more than CRTs.
If your old monitor works OK, you can save some money and use it with a new desktop. Desktops are often sold without monitors. All notebooks come with monitors.
Burners (CD or DVD drives that can write to discs) are very handy. CD-RW burners are dirt cheap--about $50, on sale. DVD burners run about $200 for internal units; external burners are about $100 more. DVDs can hold about seven times as much data as CDs. So, if you're making movies, go with a DVD-R/RW or DVD+R/RW burner.
Windows XP is finicky about older peripherals. If your old printer or scanner doesn't work, go to the manufacturer's Web site. You probably need a new driver.
New color inkjets cost as little as $50. Scanners often go for $70. So don't beat yourself up trying to save old equipment. Your new machine will come with Windows XP or Apple's OS X. Both are
great. XP comes in Home and Professional versions. Professional offers more features than Home, but most are obscure. However, a few are worthwhile to the amateur. Remote access, for instance, allows you to run one computer from another. You also can encrypt files and folders. Professional is about $100 more than Home.

1. Smarties

2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp

3. The size of our footballs fields and one less down

4. Baseball is Canadian

5. Lacrosse is Canadian

6. Hockey is Canadian

7. Basketball is Canadian

8. Apple pie is Canadian

9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass

10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass

11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back...past the ir 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of Washington , under the command of William Lyon MaKenzie King who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because the y ran away, so we came home and partied...Go figure..

12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany .

13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone. anywhere. EVER.

14. Our civil war was fought in a bar and it lasted a little over an hour.

15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.

16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.

17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.

18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.

19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.

20. We don't marry our kin-folk.

21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.

22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.

23. A Canadian invented Superman.

24. We have coloured money.

25. Our beer advertisments kick ass

24. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on. Ooohhhhh Canada !!

25. And we don't bomb our allies.

26. oh yeah... and our elections only take one day.

Lovely 3 bedroom minihome in Meadowvale Park, Winsloe, Prince Edward Island, Canada. Oak cupboards, cathedral ceilings, invisible dog fence, large patio. Includes 4 appliances. List Price: $54,900. Canadian. George Jordan Royal LePage Peters & Lank 902-962-2050